Did I get your attention? I’m willing to bet seven of my favorite freckles that most of you are thinking this post is about S-E-X. Am I correct?
Sorry to disappoint you folks. This blog post isn’t about sex (at least, not in the way you think it is).
Nope. It’s not about waiting a certain amount of time before hoping into the sack. (Although that is a good topic. Another blog. Another time).
If sex is what you’re after, then we should stop this relationship right now. Turn away. Stop reading before feelings get involved. Some of you just logged off. That’s okay. I’m alright (wipes tear). It’s best to know now.
H-e-l-l-o? Is anybody out there….?
There you are. For all of the loyal lipstick warriors who kept reading, let’s get this party started! (Men, we have to find a better name for you. Something about this isn’t sitting right). Any suggestions? At any rate, Ladies and Gents, I submit to you one critical question: Are you giving it up too soon?
The “it” that I am talking about is your DREAM?
Let me clarify. I am defining your dream as the highest vision you have of yourself and your life. Where would you like to be? What do you see yourself doing, and who are you doing it with? What kind of relationships do you have? How much money are you making? What impact do you have on your family and the world? Steve Jobs, anyone?
Your dream is the thing you want so badly, you can taste it! It keeps you up at night. (Hey, keep it clean folks!). Your dream is the “you-ness” of you.
There is no person sent to this earth to do what you were sent here to do. Period.
Your dream could be that novel you’ve been putting off writing, the album that’s been waiting to be released, the degree you’ve been thinking of getting; or the film you’ve been dying to star in opposite Don Cheadle in the Bahamas directed by Quentin Tarantino, in 95 degree weather…..Oh, and whatever you had in mind too.
I digress. Pardon me. Where are my manners?
Since we are still dating….I mean, reading, I owe it to you to share exactly what’s on my mind. Come closer, my darlings, I have sweet nothings to whisper in thy ear….Here’s the deal:
THIS BLOG POST IS ABOUT PURSUING YOUR DREAM WHEN THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF IT COMING TRUE.
As an actress in this crazy business called “Hollywood,” I sure have some wild stories to tell! I can laugh at them now. But at times, it wasn’t pretty. Over the course of my career, there have been moments when it seemed like I would never get the chance to do what I love. (Can anyone relate)? *Shameless plug coming in 3,2,1….
(L-R) Vivica Fox, Caryn Ward Ross, Terri J. Vaughn, Persia White on the set of "Marriage Chronicles" coming out February 2012.
And to top it off, it seemed as if always needed other people’s permission to make my dream come true! It was frustrating, to say the least. I wondered: Should I continue pursuing a career as an actress? Should I give the whole thing up? Has this happened to you? By your lack of a response, I’m going to guess not. Fine. Be that way.
But just in case I am NOT the only one, we should keep going. Here are my…
Top Five Signs You May Be Giving Up on Your Dream Too Soon (AKA The Dream-Killers) : 
- You’re afraid. Yes, I said it. You are afraid sh***less! You are giving up on your dream not because you want to, but because you think you have to. Basically, you prefer playing it safe than taking the risk necessary to live your life to the fullest. No judgment here at all. But I owe it to you to be honest.
- You don’t have the money. Or the time, or the education, or the smarts, or the talent, or the…fill in the blank. Let me ask you: If (blank) was not an issue, would you go for it? I’ll bet two more freckles that’s a ‘YES’!
- You’re listening to the wrong people. Someone told you (maybe a parent, a teacher, friends, society, an industry, the world) that you can’t do it, it’s impossible, it’s too hard, you will fail, it’s too big of a risk, you’re too old, too young, your pinky finger is too long…blah, blah, blah! You get my point. More importantly, you believed them. (Note: the “someone” could be you).
- You believe it’s possible, just not for YOU. You support everyone else in making their dreams come true. But when it comes to your dream? Fuggeddaboudit. Your dream might as well be on the back of a milk carton because it’s nowhere to be found! Was that insensitive? Sorry. Just trying to make a point.
- You are not happy. You just have this nagging, persistent feeling that there is more to life than what you are doing. There’s more you are here to do, to be, to say, to have, to give, to express, and to experience. Sometimes, there’s just an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach, or a little something that says “You are meant to do something really great”. I know you know what I am talking about
Now that we know each other a little better, I can be honest with you. Many of us treat our dreams much like we do our dating life. Where am I going with this? Come closer…
One Night Stands, Flings, & A Dream—
Some of us have One Night Stands with our Dream. You have your eye on said Dream. It looks good, tantalizing…like something you must have. You get together, its’ hot, it’s heavy, it’s FIRE! Passion abounds. You have a torrid rumble in the sack, and wake up the next morning dazed and confused–not totally sure of your dreams name. (I am only going on what I’ve been told. Don’t judge me). You do the walk of shame, and bolt for the door. You drop your Dream faster than Hermain Cain did his presidential bid. Never to call or see each other again. Sound familiar?
For others, you treat your dream just like a Causal Fling. You’re half-way in, half-way out. Never fully committing to each other. You and Dream rendezvous for a few weeks, months, (and in some cases a few years). But things never really get off the ground. You start looking at other options that have caught your fancy. When things get too “hectic” you head for the hills. Hard work? Tenacity? What’s that? You split. And just like that– POOF! You’re gone. Never to call, write, email, text, Facebook, twitter, Linkedin, or speak to each other again.
Guess what? YOUR DREAM IS CALLING! And it’s pregnant with so many possibilities!
2012 is upon us. This is your year. This is my year. This is our time to really go for it. I mean really go for it with everything we’ve got! Your best is yet to come. Here are a few tools we should keep close at hand. Walk with me...
I’m big advocate of practicing safe-sex. I’m equally passionate about practicing safe-dreaming.
- Set a clear intention of what you want to create and how you desire your life to be. Write it down. Keep it protected. Create small, achievable action steps that you can commit to doing consistently. Even if it means you dedicate just three hours a week to your Dream, while you work another job or take care of other obligations.
By all means, don’t abandon it.
- Keep it in focus. Surround yourself with people who uplift and see the best in you. Don’t go dream-swaping with just anyone. You wouldn’t share your bed with just anyone. Take the same care with your Dream.
STAY COMMITTED TO THE DREAM.
In order to create the life you desire you MUST stay married to the Dream. Be fully committed through the ups and the downs. All of them. This is non-negotiable. I am talking about sticking with it–NO MATTER WHAT! Even when there is no evidence (or signs) of your dream coming true. Even when it seems like everyone else around you is getting theirs. Patience and persistence are critical at this point. Hold an inner vision of your dream, even when others don’t. Correction: especially when others don’t. 
I believe true success is 90% your mindset, 10% work and %100 commitment.
Listen, I am by no means suggesting that I don’t have challenges and struggles (that would be dang-gone lie)! Of course I do. We all do. But, I can say I am very grateful I did not give up when those little dream-killers could have easily made that possible. Which is why I wanted to share this information with you, in hopes that you too, can avoid their seductive trap. In my mind, I have already made it. My Dream is REAL. Regardless of anyone or anything outside of me. I’ve got things to do, baby! And you do too! So, let’s keep our heads and hearts clear, determined, and focused so that we can accomplish what we set out to do in 2012.
Before I let you go my dearly Beloveds, may I ask one small favor? Please remember to court your Dreams….spend some quality time. Cherish them. Have a full on love-affair with your Dreams because I, and the rest of world need you too!
Loving you,
Caryn xoxxo
@CarynWard on twitter
Disclaimer: Typos and grammatical errors are intentional. They serve to remind us that there is beauty in life’s imperfections. That, or Caryn fell asleep way too often in Miss. Wilson’s English Lit class.
